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	<title>Solitary Confinement</title>
	<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com</link>
	<description>Lonna Cottrell&#039;s Mess, A Life Sentence</description>
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		<title>What Did I Do Last Weekend? (a.k.a. The City That Never Sleeps And My Experience With Time Travel)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Date #4 with Mr. Major Potential. Our similarities: comparable tastes in music, identical full-time single parent statuses, insatiable appetites for art,  and we both &#8220;live&#8221; in a place where the new Heinz ketchup packet makes up the front page news. He also skateboards AND has the ability to breakdance&#8230; What more could a woman possibly [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2661</link>
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		<title>Who in Hell is this person?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In preparation for my next memoir Slackers, I&#8217;ve forced myself to spend time with a pathetic soul that I had once known on an intimate level. ME. The 23, 24, and 25 year old ME. It&#8217;s all about ME. Thankfully, the man I&#8217;d been then dating (The Crustacean) was, is, and always will be a hoarder. He [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2547</link>
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		<title>Really?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[My goal: to make this post about my recent near-death experience as non-cliche&#8217; as possible, because all such scenarios are the same. In every single one, someone nearly dies, but doesn&#8217;t. (Boring.) Please forgive me for my methods. December 31, 2009 Dear Ronnie Reaper (a.k.a Dan Death), I apologize for leaving you stranded on New Year&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2350</link>
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		<title>(Not) Tony Award Winning Musical, A Fitness Carol</title>
		<description><![CDATA[(Although her daughter participated in this epic event, the author insists that this review remains unbiased.) An Accompany Publishing Musical Play adapted from &#8220;A Christmas Carol&#8221; by Charles Dickens (to clear up any confusion). The date, Dec. 16th. The place, a school auditorium in the middle-of-nowhere&#8217;sville. Presented by the 4th and 5th grade chorus. Before [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2268</link>
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		<title>My Imaginary Husband List</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I came across an Imaginary Boyfriend List yesterday that had spoken to me intimately. But since all of my boyfriends are imaginary, I thought I&#8217;d up the stakes. The difficulty in ranking them was excruciating. Especially slots 1 and 2. *  *  * 1. Andy Samberg Sorry Johnny, but Andy and I were bethrothed on Facebook (and ONLY [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2175</link>
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		<title>Augusten said, &#8220;You Better Not Cry,&#8221; and I did.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week, I finished the latest masterpiece by Augusten Burroughs. He did not disappoint. If you&#8217;re having a particularly bad time this season, read all 206 pages. Follow this prescription and you will smile. Throughout the years, holidays and birthdays have been tough for me. Society forces happiness which stresses me out and only induces [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2189</link>
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		<title>So, since when has wax been so sexy?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Upon finding out that Michael Jackson decorated Neverland with mannequins, I had thought, &#8220;Mikey&#8217;s weird!&#8221; But now, after visiting Madame Tussaud&#8217;s Wax Museum in New York, I totally get it! I could seriously deal with having three, or four, maybe even five, of these in my home. All in different poses and costumes, of course. Wax [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2120</link>
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		<title>The Tour of Mali&#8217;s House</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In the tradition of Orson Welles, Felleni, and Kubrick, I leave you this&#8230; Star and Director: Amalia (then 6) ~Summer 2007 Pay no attention to the hair.   Mali&#8217;s Tour from Lonna Cottrell on Vimeo.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=1294</link>
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		<title>The Kevorkian Christmas Carols</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Jack preparing to decorate his tree. We were young and had a dream.  A world where we openly joke about suicide without being sent to the guidance office for a psychological evaluation. The following works of art were created in 1993 by Lonna Cottrell and Totally Rosalie after an intense moment of reflection; inspired by [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2110</link>
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		<title>The Bundy/Manson Factor</title>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the reasons for my conscious decision not to actively HUNT for a mate&#8230; A few years ago, I was flipping through a book Ann Rule had written about a friend of hers, The Stranger Beside Me, and the pictures struck me. Those eyes! Hot! Manson has them too. And so did ex-boyfriends X, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=2025</link>
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		<title>Happy Belated National Annual Bulimia Day</title>
		<description><![CDATA[For once, I&#8217;m extremely proud of myself for not dangling my uvula with the tip of my index finger. This is due to my inhuman level of self-restraint. Forcing vomit production on this particular Thursday in November had become the norm, either that or allow my stomach and esophagus to split. Not this year. No toilet-hovering for [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=1994</link>
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		<title>My Own Private Wrestlemania</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week, I strung together words in an unforgivable sequence. I said to my nine year old, sixty-pound daughter, &#8220;You&#8217;re right. You are not allowed to join the wrestling league because you&#8217;re a girl.&#8221; A mostly male organization, but also open to females, if any dare. As if the hypocrisy and shame of this statement [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=1940</link>
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		<title>The defense for my Twilight fascination</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The defense of this posting may arrive at a later date. This weekend a friend of mine noticed the Twilight poster pinned to my daughter&#8217;s bedroom door and said, &#8220;Twilight? You? Really? That&#8217;s trendy.&#8221;  So I&#8217;ve been experiencing the need to explain. Okay. Here it goes. The poster technically belongs to my daughter because it&#8217;s on her [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=1861</link>
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		<title>Mother Mary, could you?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This display of my mother&#8217;s least favorite picture (Mary at age 6?) and her posting of my Page 6 Trentonian spread on Facebook&#8211;entirely coincidental. First off, I love my mother. Not only is she my second best bud, she raised me, coddled me, and actually encouraged my nutty creativity. Not once did she suggest that [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=1851</link>
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		<title>My Meeting With The Crustacean</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Over the weekend, I met up with a pivotal ex-boyfriend whom I will only refer to as&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..  The Crustacean. Hard on the outside. Soft on the inside. And tastes wonderful smothered in butter&#8230;well he used to anyway.  The Crustacean&#8217;s crimes against the humanity of Lonna Cottrell: abducting my heart and sending it through a meat [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.lonnacottrell.com/?p=1749</link>
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